No Choice, No Excuses: How to Stick With a Daily Meditation Practice

One of the most seemingly simple, common questions I’m asked by students is how to establish a daily meditation practice. Easy to ask, but hard to do, even for long term meditators. New meditation students usually want the nuts and bolts of getting a daily practice going. Often, however, I’m asked this question by people who have been meditating sporadically for years, even decades. They already know the drill, but perhaps they secretly hope there’s some trick they’re overlooking that will make the practice fall into place. The simplest, most straightforward answer I can give is always the same: “no choice, no excuses.” That’s it. If you approach a daily practice with this attitude, you will be successful. There are many good books on how to meditate, so my focus here will remain on establishing the discipline and commitment to sit daily.

Meditation has to be a priority equal to sleeping, eating, showering and brushing your teeth. We do these things every day, no questions asked. Its just part of caring for our lives. We find time for these activities. But when it comes to meditation, all too often the time disappears. Is maintenance for our bodies truly more important than maintenance for our minds? As Chogyam Trungpa put it, “It’s as if you think you’re a victim of your life and not of your laziness.” This may seem harsh, and I’ll leave it up to you to discern if there’s truth here for you. We can easily occupy our minds with  social media, internet, television, etc., but not with meditation. How can that be true?

It helps if you’re a naturally disciplined person. When I started my mediation practice, I had a tendency toward discipline in most parts of my life. I could apply that disciple to my practice. But I was also very motivated. I saw meditation as something so vital to my life that I wasn’t going to give myself a choice. My monkey mind often had different ideas, though. Excuses would arise, sometimes every morning, especially if I had overslept or had a full day ahead. I learned to acknowledge those voices but go about my meditation anyway. The more I practiced, the more I knew I didn’t have to believe my thoughts, including my reasons for not meditating. Those thoughts represented a familiar pattern of resistance, the mind that didn’t want to look at itself closely and intimately without distractions. Sometimes it was scary, seeing and experiencing myself so clearly. And that’s what we get on the cushion: an intimate view of ourselves, through the myriad ways we manifest our humanity day after day. Sometimes pretty, sometimes unpleasant. A good dose of compassion will go a long way toward opening ourselves to this spectrum. As the mind stills, we begin to experience this moment as it is, with “suchness.” We encounter our true nature as we lose the separation of myself and the other, the observer and the observed. Equanimity arises.

If you’re young, everyday patterns usually aren’t as ingrained so you have a good chance of sticking with a practice if you’re motivated. As we get older, our routines become more established, so we may find more resistance when we begin to uproot our patterns. But with enough commitment, anyone can begin and stick with a daily practice. Don’t look for results, just keep meditating daily and forget about the outcome. You’re planting seeds that will sprout when they’re ready. If you miss a few days, avoid self-blame and just get back on the cushion to start anew. At some point, you won’t even have to think about it any more.

Many students tell me the most difficult part of daily meditation is facing restlessness and anxiety on the cushion. Some days our minds are very active with planning, ideas, work issues, problem solving, etc. On these days it may be hard to stay still for the allotted time. When this happens, remember to bring your attention back to your body. This will balance the energy that you’ve been investing in mental activities. When the mind is restless, you’ll gradually discern feelings of anxiety and other sensations in the body. Stay with it to the extent you are able and remember kindness. Once you learn to steadily rest your attention at the body, your agitated thoughts will begin to dissipate and soon you’ll be present again, even in the midst of anxious feelings. When you experience them directly they’re no longer an obstacle.

I’m often asked, “is a daily meditation practice really worth it?” There are plenty of solid studies and books that can answer this question. I can say meditation has been transformational for me, and many others through the centuries. If you spend considerable energy grappling with this question rather than sitting, maybe you need to find something else to do with your time for a while. In any case you’ll have to find this answer for yourself. You’ll never know unless you give it a chance. If you do, the odds are high that you will say “yes.”

The Essentials of Buddhism Course

Starting June 12, 2014 at12 South Dharma Center

Led by Lisa Ernst

shylotuscrop3This intermediate, five session course is designed for those who wish to support their meditation practice with a deeper understanding and practical application of the Buddha’s teachings in daily life. The curriculum is based on the Eightfold Path and will emphasize mindful and abiding awareness, interconnection with all life, right effort, wise speech and compassion.

This course is ideal for students who have prior meditation or study experience such the Basics of Meditation Course and/or daylong and weekend residential retreats. Classes are taught as a mix of practice and study so that students gain experiential insights into the Buddha’s teachings while deepening their practice. You will receive study materials and suggestions for practice at home. The classes will include plenty of time for group support and interaction.

Course fee is $125. Two reduced fee spots are available in the case of financial need. Class will begin on Thursday, June 12, 7 – 8:30 p.m. Following Thursday meetings are: June 19, July 3, 10 and 24. A makeup session is available with Lisa if you have to miss one of these dates. Paypal is here. If paying by check, make it out to One Dharma Nashville and send to: 12 South Dharma Center c/o One Dharma Nashville, 2301 12th Avenue South, suite 202, Nashville, TN 37204. Be sure to include your email address. For questions or to reserve your spot, please email onedharmaretreat@gmail.com.

Lisa Ernst is a Buddhist Meditation teacher in the Thai Forest lineage of Ajahn Chah. In her teaching, Lisa emphasizes both transformational insight and everyday awakening as an invitation to embrace all of the path’s possibilities. Lisa is the founder of One Dharma Nashville and she regularly leads daylong and residential retreats, private meditation training and classes.

June Daylong Meditation Retreat

Cultivating Clarity through Living the Questions
Saturday, June 7, 9:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.
Nashville Friends House
Led by Lisa Ernst

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“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

During meditation practice it is customary to look inward and clarify our deepest intentions, yet unanswered questions may stand in the way. In this day of mindfulness, we will have the opportunity to practice opening our hearts to our unresolved questions. These questions contain a rich source of insight; learning to live them brings about a radical shift that opens the door to clarity and equanimity.

Led by dharma teacher Lisa Ernst, this retreat is appropriate for newer and more experienced meditators. The retreat will include sitting and walking meditation, practice instructions, Q&A and dharma talk.

Retreat fee is $50. A reduced fee spot is available. Paypal is here. Please confirm to onedharmaretreat@gmail.com that a space is still open before registering.

Registration Still Available for Spring Residential Retreat

There’s still time to register for One Dharma’s Spring Renewal Meditation Retreat, happening at Bethany Hills in Kingston Springs. Retreat runs from Thursday evening, April 24 through Sunday Noon, April 26. Full info is here.

Practice Idea – Taste The Mud and Be Free

IMG_6809In Buddhism we often talk about remaining fully present and mindful in the midst of unpleasant sensations, thoughts and emotions. Most people understand this, but actually sustaining presence beyond noting and momentary awareness is often quite challenging.

When we’re in the midst of difficult feelings or sensations, we may transition from avoidance into full presence for short bursts of time. That’s an important step. But with especially intense discomfort, it’s all too easy to quickly re-engage with external stimuli and old stories to blunt the intensity. Somehow it feels safer than stepping over the edge and letting go, where it seems the discomfort may swallow us.

I’ve found a practice approach that helps me sustain attention when I need a little extra encouragement. I look for simple, even playful ways to increase my capacity to stay present long enough to counter my ingrained resistance. What I’m doing is interrupting the flow of mental formation long enough to create a gap.

I discovered this practice at a time when I was so upset and miserable that the last thing I wanted was to increase my discomfort by feeling it more fully. This very resistance was a clue – time to face it, not run away. But my mind was like a wild horse, rearing and bucking, ready to run. To redirect the energy I asked myself what this horrible sensation tasted like. As someone who especially enjoys food, this question stimulated my interest and interrupted an entrenched reactive pattern. My resistance went down a notch; my mind stilled a bit. If you are more auditory or tactual, look for a specific sound or touch instead.

The key here is that you are engaging in direct experience, what’s actually present, no analysis or stories added. Just find a visceral taste, touch or sound. The answer to my own question was mud and manure – that’s what the discomfort tasted like. Really unappetizing and not even food! This lightened me up a little and engaged my curiosity. After the first few moments of really tasting mud in all its dark grit, the present wasn’t overwhelming anymore. I could stay with it. As I let go, the last slivers of separation and resistance dissolved into immediate experience. The mud dissipated on its own.

 

 

Dharma Talk and Guided Meditation: The Dharma of Giving and Receiving

This dharma talk was recorded at Insight Nashville on March 19, 2014. I explore the  parami of generosity, especially in the context of receiving as an interconnected act of lovingkindness. The full audio is 30 minutes; the final portion is a guided meditation on opening our hearts to receive as well as give metta.

 

 

Instructions on Working with Questions in Your Practice and A Guided Meditation

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Unanswered questions, intractable situations often appear to stand in the way of living from our deepest intentions. At times we might feel blocked even from knowing what our true priorities are. But if we take time to turn inward with a spirit of patience and inquiry, instead of requiring the dilemmas to go away, or insisting on immediate resolutions, we can discover the resources we need. Internal dilemmas contain a rich source of insight; learning to live with them brings about a radical shift that opens the door to clarity and equanimity.

Working with unresolved questions in your meditation practice is an intentional focus, like metta, which is different from basic breath and body awareness. We are directing our attention to something more specific, in this case, deep questions in our lives. We are creating an intention to bring the question into our hearts with a quality of openness and interest, but not with an intent to analyze or resolve.

Your question may be about some aspect of your life that doesn’t make sense: loneliness, career or finances, a difficult relationship, perhaps old conditioning that keeps reappearing unexpectedly no matter what you do. It may be about health or chronic pain, the loss of a loved one or maybe deep spiritual question about life and death. Most of us are intimately familiar with our themes, the questions that we just can’t resolve.

In exploring your questions this way, they can transform into a life force. Living your deepest questions is living your life fully; loving your questions is loving even those parts of your life and those parts of yourself that you may have shut out.

This is where the radical shift can occur. Often unresolved questions represent parts of our lives that we resist. Trying to figure them out and resolve them takes us away from this moment, where the question can come alive. This is the portal to wisdom and insight. It only opens when we can move out of the realm of the intellect and our normal attempts to solve the question. Living our questions brings us fully into this moment.

Guided Meditation

Give yourself about 20 – 30 minutes to do this practice fully.

Find a comfortable place to sit. Take a few deep breaths and settle into this moment. Now take a few minutes to find your question and bring it into your heart

As you find it, just open up to it as a living thing

Keep sitting with whatever arises and let go of any thinking or stories until you become aware of your body

Notice what you feel

As the question settles into your body you may feel sadness or grief, despair, anger, fear, love or compassion. Don’t attach to the name or the explanation. Just feel it. You may even feel neutral. If it’s neutral or blank, just be with the experience of that. Chances are it will change of its own accord as you stay present. It may also appear as energy. This can happen when we move the question out of the realm of thought and into our hearts.

If you feel overwhelmed and quickly engage in busy or intensive thought, the question may be too charged. Pull back and focus on the breath or another object of attention until you feel more settled. Then return to your question as you feel ready.

There is a lot of life and energy in our deep questions once we open our hearts and minds to them.

Once your question settles into your being, just let it rest there and don’t try to direct or see the outcome. This is where your mindfulness practice will serve you, in this spaciousness of mind and heart that we can’t always so easily access in our day to day activities.

If you feel something arising allow it to flow and move. Sadness grief, energy, even joy, whatever it might be, just be open to it welcome it and let it be in your heart. If you need to cry that is ok too.

What we’re learning to do is hold the question in the realm of not knowing, the realm of mystery. With patience, we let go of trying to resolve anything. Slowly, we learn to respond from an unbiased heart, our inherent wisdom.

You can listen to my dharma talk on working with questions here.

For my Buddhist Geeks podcast on working with questions, click here.

Gratitudue Overcomes Me

 

A Shroud of Mist by Lisa Ernst

A Shroud of Mist
by Lisa Ernst

Whatever it is, I cannot understand it
Although gratitude stubbornly overcomes me
Until I am reduced to tears.
– Saigyo

Spring Renewal Residential Retreat

 

Spring Renewal Residential Meditation Retreat

Awakening the Heart of Wisdom

Thursday Evening, April 24 – Sunday Noon, April 27

Led by Lisa Ernst

Early Registration Discount Through March 24

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Each spring the earth awakens from its winter slumber. Surrounded by the fresh green of newly leafed trees and longer, warmer days, we will renew our minds and hearts in the simple yet profound practice of sitting and walking meditation. Gradually this practice will penetrate all realms of our being as we awaken to this moment with deep gratitude and joy. The practice will be supported by daily instructions, lovingkindness and optional teacher meetings.

The retreat will be held at Bethany Hills Retreat Center, Kingston Springs, TN. Cost is $190 if paid by 3/24; $215 after. Attendance for all three days is required. If you are unable to pay the full price, please contact us for reduced fee/work exchange options. Paypal is available here. If paying by check, make it out to One Dharma Nashville and send to: One Dharma Nashville c/o 12 South Dharma Center, 2301 12th Avenue South, Suite 202, Nashville, TN 37204. Be sure to include your email address.

Lisa Ernst is the founder and guiding teacher at One Dharma Nashville. She began intensive meditation practice in the late ’80′s in the Zen tradition. Lisa has also studied and practiced in the Theravada tradition since the late 90′s. She has been teaching for ten years and was given full dharma transmission from Trudy Goodman in 2010 in the Thai Forest lineage of Ajahn Chah.

There will be a separate opportunity at the retreat to make a dana offering (donation) to the teacher. According to the Buddha, generosity, or sharing what we have, is one of the central pillars of a spiritual life. In the act of giving we develop our ability to let go, cultivate a spirit of caring, and acknowledge the inter-connectedness that we all share.

Please contact onedharmaretreat@gmail.com for questions or to reserve your spot.